“You would not believe what these two bastards did to me, David!”
Back in March 1984, I was requested to be part of the delivery team for an A310 (Registration G-BKWT) at the Airbus facility in Toulouse.
There were 5 of us in the delivery team, which included the project manager and 3 other inspectors. On arrival at Blagnac Airport in Toulouse, we collected our hire cars. The project manager, who travelled a lot, had his Hertz No. 1 card on him, so he got his Ford Escort. Another one of the cars was a BMW 520i; I volunteered for that one! But one of the other inspectors with me was also the assistant station engineer, which means he just outranked me. He simply tapped the stripes on his shirt and wordlessly held his other hand out for the keys. I couldn’t help but chuckle as I dropped them into his waiting palm. I was left with a lovely Peugeot 504 estate, a classic French automobile! We drove to the centre of the city and parked in our hotel’s underground car park. On doing so and killing the engine, it appeared that the headlights stayed on. No matter what I did, they would not go off. Fortunately, I had some tools with me, so I simply disconnected the battery. After checking in, I called Hertz back at Blagnac. They suggested I return the car the next day to see if they could either fix the problem or exchange the car. After a few beers and a good night’s sleep, the rest of the team went to the delivery centre in the BMW, and I went back to Blagnac in the Peugeot. The Hertz mechanic took the car away and returned 20 minutes later to say he couldn’t fix it.
“I noticed you have another BMW over there. Is that one free by any chance?”
‘Yes, sir! Why not?!’ The man behind the desk smiled broadly at me before handing me the keys. I then drove to the delivery centre to rejoin my team and get to work on the delivery.
We split into two teams, one carrying out the visual inspections on the aircraft and the other the system function checks. This was completed by Friday evening, with the demonstration flight scheduled for Monday morning, so the team had the weekend off. On the drive back to the hotel that evening, we stopped at the traffic lights, side by side. Not a word was exchanged between the two cars, but we decided to have a street race. I did not know that once the revs get past a certain number, the fuel flow is cut. The driver of the other car obviously did know this as he swiftly changed into 2nd moments off the line and very much won the race! Bastard. After being suitably humiliated, I had to buy the beers that night. My wife Jeannie flew over and joined me for the weekend, and we had a lovely day of shopping and dining in the city. On Sunday, we decided to head to Andorra, an independent principality between France and Spain in the Pyrenees mountains. On the drive down, there were a lot of signs announcing that the pass to Andora was closed due to heavy snowfall. We pressed on regardless to a town en route called Axe-Les-Thermes. After parking the car, I noticed the other BMW was already there! We went into a nearby restaurant, only to find the three other inspectors polishing off their lunch. They told us they were going to Andorra as well when Jeannie informed them that the pass was closed.
They were not concerned in the least ‘We’re going to go anyway and see how far we get!’ they said.
We wished them luck and sat down for a long lunch as we watched them all leave and pile into their BMW. We finished our lunch and took a nice, leisurely drive back to Toulouse.
That evening, my wife and I went down to the hotel bar for a pre-dinner drink. As we were enjoying them, my 3 colleagues returned from their adventure and walked into the bar. They ordered their drinks and came over to our table. The inspector who had been in the back seat looked very angry, and his face was extremely pale!
“You okay, Ray?” I asked.
‘You would not believe what these two bastards did to me, David!’ he replied, shaking his head.
He explained that as they approached Andora, the first part of the journey around the twisty Alpine road was fine; no snow, no ice, all clear. As they rounded a bend, that all changed. There was a line across the road that went from nice, clear road to deep snow and slippery ice. They pressed on regardless!
‘The next thing I hear, David, is a sudden and flustered clicking of seat belts being undone in the front two seats! Not a word was said between them or back to me! Then I see them both reaching for their door handles! Fortunately, the car suddenly came to a stop just before the cliff edge that we were about to go over! These two bastards were ready to jump and leave me to my doom in the back seat! Luckily for all of us, the car had spun round and was now facing downhill. This is the first time I have spoken to these two since that silent drive home!’ He pointed at them with an angry thumb before necking half his beer, which they bought! After a few more refreshments, we called it a night. My wife quietly told me that I was never to get in a car with the driver of the other BMW. I agreed!
Jeannie returned to England on Monday, and I drove to work with Ray, whom I let sit in the front with me! We did the demonstration flight with our pilots, and only two minor defects were detected. The aircraft was then prepared for the transfer of title on Tuesday. After completing all the legal documentation, we boarded the aircraft and flew back to Gatwick. The same team did a second A310 delivery two months later, and for the duration, Ray always got in my car, whatever make or model.
All my adventures and assignments have always taught me new lessons. In this instance, I would say that it is always wise to get to know your teammates, especially when it comes to driving up dangerous mountain passes! And when someone advises not to drive on, it may be in your best interest to listen! If you would like to know more or book our services, then please get in touch via our contact page.
