“Is that it!? Is that your fucking plan!?”
I started my night shift at 7 pm on a cold November night. Straight away, I could tell it would be a little different when the station superintendent asked me to fly down to Lagos to fix an Airbus A310 that was A.O.G, due to faulty landing gear. Always keen for an adventure, I happily accepted, and they assigned me my fitter/mechanic and gave me what they believed to be the correct spares to fix the problem. We proceeded to the terminal building to board the DC-10 overnight flight to Lagos.
About halfway towards Nigeria, I was sitting back in my seat watching the in-flight movie when a jarring feeling of concern suddenly hit me like a thunderbolt. Patting myself down, I quickly validated my worries. I only had £2.50 in my pocket, no dollars, no naira, and no Nigerian visa in my passport! This was going to land my fitter and me in some serious trouble! A plan had to be organised swiftly! Racking my brain as hard as I could, I couldn’t see a way out of this situation. And as we touched down, all I kept hearing was, “You stupid bastard!”
As we taxied to the gate, I finally saw her – our guardian angel. She was a Nigerian woman effortlessly carrying a basket laden with fruit on her head. She was walking across the airfield in Lagos, completely unimpeded.
“Hmmmm,” I said to myself, as a possible solution formed. I leant across to my fitter, who was utterly oblivious to our predicament (which I kept that way to avoid panicking him) and began to unfurl my master plan. “Do you have any money or a Nigerian visa in your passport?” I asked him.
“No,” he responded with a look of sudden concern.
“Well, neither do I! So, here is what we’re going to do. You put on my uniformed jacket with the gold engineering braid on the wrists. My shirt has the same gold braid on the shoulder epilates. We’re going down to the airbridge, to the airfield, then walk straight across it as if we own the place!”
He considered me for a moment, possibly thinking I was crazy, before responding “Is that it!? Is that your fucking plan!?”
“You got a better one?!” I asked, already knowing the answer. He looked at me blindly for a moment before nodding.
He definitely thought I was crazy now, but at this point, crazy was all we had.
As the plane pulled in to stand, I took charge and handed him my jacket. “Okay!” I said, “Let’s go! And remember…we own this fucking airport!”
We left our plane and marched as confidently as we could muster, right across the tarmac to the awaiting A310. We were greeted by the station engineer and two other engineers from Gatwick. They told us about the problem with the landing gear and I suggested I could prove which valve was the faulty one. The issue was with the gear sequencing valve. Thank the lord, the part we had was spot on! The Gatwick team replaced the valve, and on completion, they suggested that we all go back to the hotel, freshen up, have a nice meal, and we’ll fly back the following day. I looked at the station engineer and pretty much ordered ‘Get the crew, we are leaving right now!’
They were taken aback by my urgent tone and wanted to know why I was so keen to leave. I explained our arrival situation. They looked at each other for a moment before agreeing that it was in our best interest to leave as quickly and quietly as possible!
As we hastily packed up our things like robbers fleeing a heist, one of the team asked me, “What happens if the gear doesn’t lift after take-off?”
Sweating buckets by now, I glanced at him, not knowing if he was serious or taking the piss. “Well, it will stay down, and we’ll fly a lot slower!” I responded curtly.
He nodded, satisfied with the answer. Turning to the Lagos station engineer, he gave me an exasperated look. I can see why we were called in for this job!
I decided to ease the pressure a little, “We have proved that the valve we changed is faulty and you guys have done a great job fixing it. There is no reason why the gear won’t work.”
Despite being supremely confident in myself and my fitter, I still said a little, quiet prayer.
It was answered! We were marked down as crew, avoiding passport control and were airborne on the A310 we just fixed, within the hour! And much to our relief, there was no issue with the landing gear retracting. I wasn’t entirely sure what would have happened if we had been caught without money and our visa, but I was certain it would not have been anything good and I wasn’t going to stick around in Lagos to find out!
As we flew home, our course took us across the Sahara Desert. Gazing over that vast expanse in the daylight was something else! There was nothing for hundreds of miles in all directions, from shimmering horizon to horizon – absolutely nothing. The word barren is an understatement, and it swiftly surpassed Lagos as the last place I would want to be stranded in! On approach into Gatwick, the landing gear came down with no issues. That, to me, was the last symbolic mark of victory – the defect had been fixed, and I was ever so pleased to be home!
To this day, this was one of the most eventful nightshifts I have ever had and the main reason why I always carry my passport with me! I have yet to return to Lagos. If you would like to know more about our aircraft delivery services, please get in touch via our contact page.
