“I should have known that it was only a matter of time before I was selected as the next target in Mick and Nos’s reign of terror…”
The following is a true account of a list of pranks that occurred during my work in Gatwick. I either witnessed these, or they were told to me by a colleague and corroborated by many! All of the pranks were the work of two devious masterminds, who we shall call Mickey and Nosmo. Their reign of mischievous terror occurred in the 60s, 70s, and 80s, and I don’t advise that they be repeated or emulated by anyone, as workplace laws and regulations have changed a lot since then!
The first of the pranks was told to me by a colleague who worked on the Vickers VC10. This happened in the mid-60s. Every working day, a gentleman would go to the toilets with the Sun newspaper in hand and go to trap 2 (cubicle 2) for a moment of quiet contemplation. As said gentleman was perusing page 3 and the other pages full of hard-hitting, English journalism, a lady who worked in the canteen went to see Mickey and informed him that the drains were blocked again. Being such a knowledgeable chap and innovative engineer, Mickey went and fetched a trolley filled with high-pressure air canisters and hoses to unblock the drain. He then went to a specific drain outlet and put the air pipe in, securing it so it wouldn’t move. He then opened the air valve and unleashed 3000 psi straight down the drain. There was a powerful WHOOSH, followed by a loud roar that came from the toilets. Within seconds, the gentleman sitting in trap 2 came out, covered head to toe in human shit (including his own), a soggy, torn newspaper still in his hands, and his overalls slopping round his ankles. Staggering into the corridor he looked around and roared at the top of his lungs ‘what the FUCK was that?!!’ Mickey popped his head round the corner and upon seeing his colleague reduced to a human pile of shit, turned the valve off, removed the air pipe and quickly trundled the trolley of canisters out of sight! About an hour later, the lady from the canteen saw Mickey and said, “The drains are working perfectly now, thanks very much!”
‘My pleasure!’ he said, with tears in his eyes. I believe his colleague went home after being housed down outside and given a spare set of overalls!
The next set of pranks I experienced personally was between Mickey and his partner in crime – Mr Nosmo or Nos. It was also the first salvo in a long prank war between these two jokers. Nos drew first blood when he asked Mickey if he would like a cup of tea,
“Yes, please!” Mickey replied from his chair in the crew room.
Nos went into the kitchen and got a tube of superglue, which he applied to the bottom of Mickey’s mug, sticking it firmly to the surface of the counter. He then made a lovely brew and yelled to Mickey that it was ready. Mickey came in, a big smile on his face, and as he slips his finger through the handle and goes to lift it, the handle snaps off in his hand, the rest of the mug staying right where it is on the surface. I was in the corner, trying to contain myself as I watched. Mickey looked at the handle, then at Nos and didn’t say a word as he made himself another cup of tea in silence.
There were no further pranks, no retaliation… until four days later.
Mickey was a patient man, and over those four days, he had been planning. He had acquired a tiny drill, we’re talking millimetres, and very carefully, he drilled a nearly invisible hole, about half an inch below the lip of a tea mug. Hiding the mug in an unused cupboard in the kitchen, he waited until Nos came into the crew room.
“You want a cuppa tea, Nos?” He said, poking his read round the door.
‘Yes, please, Mick!’ He replied.
Tea is made, and Nos enters; Micky gestures towards it. Tentatively, Nos lifted the mug, expecting the same prank to have been done back to him. But it lifts fine. He looks at Mickey, whose face is the picture of innocence. Nosmo nods his appreciation to him. He lifts the mug to his lips to have a nice slurp when a stream of hot tea comes pouring down his shirt from the tiny hole. Nos is not as restrained as Mickey was and a barrage of expletives were launched, as well as the mug into the sink whilst Mickey and all who witnessed were pissing themselves with laughter. The war of pranks between these two men came to an abrupt but permanent ceasefire that very moment. But the rest of us were not so lucky!
The next target was management. A risky move, but these two were seasoned veterans, utterly dedicated to their cause.
I was in line maintenance, and the offices were located in Hangar 2 above the wheel and tyre bay. The serviceable wheels and tyres were kept in a rack outside, so that if they were needed, they could be accessed quickly. The rack was next to the staff car park, and the tyre bay manager would often park his car right next to the rack. At 5 pm one evening, the manager got in his car, and whilst he folded his jacket and stowed his briefcase, my colleagues and I, who were still working, were hastily called over to the window by Mickey, who gleefully insisted that we observe the manager for the next few minutes. We downed tools and quietly gathered by the window…
The manager started his engine, unaware that he was being watched. Also unknown to him and us was the marigold glove that had been placed over his exhaust pipe and secured firmly with a cable tie by Mickey! The glove quickly filled with exhaust gas and swelled like a balloon. As the manager reversed and turned to leave, we caught a glimpse of the massive yellow rubber balloon before it burst with a loud bang! The glove vanished into tiny pieces, and the manager’s car came to a sudden, jarring stop. He got out and instantly dashed over to the tyre rack, thinking one had exploded. We watched him check all the tyres and finding no damage to any of them, he looked around and then slowly looked up to see our faces in the window, bent double with laughter! He shook his fists at us ‘You fucking bastards!’ he yelled, before storming back to his car and driving off. He saw the funny side of the pranks eventually, probably just glad that a tyre hadn’t burst, but from then on, he always checked the back of his car before getting in!
I should have known that it was only a matter of time before I was selected as the next target in Mick and Nos’s reign of terror. Again, the chosen weapon was a marigold glove, this time, bright pink! It was 7 am when I arrived on shift, and I climbed into my bright yellow Ford Escort maintenance van. I drove down from the maintenance area to work on an aircraft waiting at stand 12. Once I was done there, I carried on with my busy day, driving all over Gatwick airport, fixing numerous aircraft at various stands. Later that morning, I got a call on my radio to head over to stand 38. I complied and drove over, leaving the engine on. I climbed the steps and went to see the crew. We quickly identified the problem, and knowing I had a spare in the back of the van, I told them to sit tight whilst I went and fetched it. As I reached my van, I went round the back and stopped in my tracks when I was greeted by a bright pink marigold glove firmly fastened to my exhaust pipe, the fingertips had been cut off so that when the engine was on, the glove would rapidly wave up and down. So, by now, the whole of Gatwick airport had witnessed me driving round in my wee yellow van emblazoned with BCAL livery and a lovely pink glove waving at everyone I passed! Cooooeeeeeeee!
‘You cheeky bastards!’ I said as I looked for anyone watching. I have to say I saw the funny side immediately, especially as I had been unknowingly driving around with it the entire morning. I snipped the cable tie and pulled the glove off, stowing the offending item in the cab. After installing the spare in the aircraft, I zoomed back to the crew room, pink glove in hand, and as I entered, I received a group wave, followed by a standing ovation from all my colleagues, including Mickey and Nos!
“Thanks, boys, I’ve had a great day, hope you enjoyed the show!”
They did, and so did I to be fair, they got me good!
There was nothing malicious about these pranks, if anything, they only improved our morale and camaraderie. However, I would advise against imitating these pranks, especially sticking a high-pressure hose down a drain while people sit on the toilet! Mickey and Nos were easily in their 50s when I joined BCAL, with me being in my 20s. Apart from being grade A jokers, they were also fantastic engineers whom I learnt a lot from (including how to pull off excellent pranks)! I always made sure they knew that they had my utmost respect, and they, in turn, returned it.
In my opinion, that is the thing missing from the workplace and indeed the world at the moment – respect. I think if we had a lot more of it for each other, then everything would improve dramatically.
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