‘I’m not fucking eating that!’
In 1987, a British Caledonian engineering team flew to Toulouse for training on the A320s. I was living just outside the city centre with my family when the team asked me for my restaurant recommendations. I gave several and they eventually went for a well-known French chain restaurant called Hippopotamus. They chose it mainly due to its fantastic menu selection, some of which appeared as pictures to help any non-French speakers which in this case was the entire engineering team! They all sat down for a big French lunch and made their selections. Five of them chose steak tartare, they told me afterwards that they did so as they believed it was a nice piece of steak with tartare sauce!
The only French the team knew was how they wanted their steak cooked. So, out comes the waitress and they start ordering. When the five ordered their steak tartare they all said ‘tres bien cuit’ which means ‘very well done.’
The waitress didn’t even bat an eyelid. “Qui monsieur, tres bien cuit!” she said whilst jotting it down on her order pad. Ten minutes later, all the dishes except the tartare were brought out, lamb chops, entrecote, grilled chicken, and rib eye steaks with all the trimmings, all beautifully cooked and mouth-wateringly presented. The feast was set down in front of the diners and then two waiters emerged carrying all the tartare’s, accompanied by the waitress who took the order. The dishes were set down in front of the five and the waitress proudly exclaimed ‘Monsiuers, steak tartare, tres bien cuit!’ and then quickly and wordlessly walked away. For those who do not know what steak tartare is, it is raw beef mince with a raw egg set in the middle, served with French fries (this is the only part of the dish that is cooked).
There is a brief moment of silence amongst the group as the five unfortunates stare down at their dish looking unimpressed and a bit revolted. The lull is broken by a member of the group, who promptly takes his napkin from his lap and plonks it over the dish, shunning it completely as he yelled to everyone, ‘I’m not fucking eating that!’
The man next to him decides to be a bit more adventurous and starts mixing the raw meat and egg, in the hope that doing so may improve the situation. He layers his fork with a modest portion and puts it in his mouth. He managed to swallow before heaving a little and then up comes his napkin to cover his dish as he echoed the same phrase of disapproval. The remaining three Tatarians didn’t know what to do except stare in disbelief.
It is now very apparent that the entire waiting staff, and almost certainly the chefs too, are having a whale of a time as the entire restaurant is now devoid of any staff as they are all watching with glee, laughing through the kitchen windows! After about five to ten minutes the original waitress and waiters return to the table. They don’t say a word, they just collect the untouched or covered steak tartares and remove them from the table. They returned after a couple of minutes and put the plates back down, but this time they had mixed the egg and mince together and quickly zapped them all in a microwave. So, they were all steaming hot, and the waitress apologised to them all ‘excusez-moi monsieur, je suis desole! Steak tartare – tres bien cuit!’ At this point, the joke dawned on the diners, and they all burst out laughing and even gave the waiting staff a round of applause! There was no animosity at all they very much saw the funny side and even enjoyed their steak tartare “Tres Bien Cuit”. I highly doubt any of them ever ordered it again though!
This tale was relayed to me the following day at the training school, and I have to say I nearly wet myself through laughing so much! So, if you find yourself in France just be aware of what you’re ordering! Learning a little of the local language is always helpful but I believe Hippo now have an English menu. (Possibly due to this incident!)
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