“You will address me as Captain or Sir!”
I met the captain around 11 am on a beautiful summer’s day in 1983. The sky was a soft, clear blue, and the temperature was perfect—the kind of day where everyone was in a great mood. I was happily working away on a DC-10 at Stand 20 when I got a call on the radio. I was requested to head over to Stand 5, where a BAC1-11 on departure had reported a generator problem.
I jumped in my van and drove over. Hurrying up the gangway, I stepped into the flight deck and warmly addressed the captain and first officer. “Good morning, gentlemen.’ I smiled, ‘I believe you have a problem.”
The first officer smiled back as he returned the greeting. The captain was in the seat to my left, head buried in a book, and took a different approach.
“You will address me as captain or sir!” He gruffly ordered over his shoulder without even looking at me.
An awkward silence hung in the cabin for a moment. The first officer shifted nervously in his seat as I fixed my gaze on the back of the captain’s head. Weighing up the different ways to handle this, I quickly arrived at the appropriate response.
“You can go fuck yourself!” I said, then walked out of the flight deck, returned to my van, and drove back to Stand 20.
When I returned to the DC-10, I had received 4 urgent radio calls! The first was from Ops control, demanding I return to stand 5.
My answer was simple, “I will NOT return to that aircraft until that captain apologises!”
No reply.
Next was Maintenance Control, who issued the same demand. They got the same non-compliance.
This was followed by Tech control, where we had an identical exchange.
There was total radio silence for the next 15 minutes…
I continued working and I wondered if I should have kept my mouth shut. Suddenly, the radio crackled into life, it was tech control, who informed me that the captain was ready to apologise. I confirmed that I would return to Stand 5 immediately.
I re-entered the flight deck of the BAC1-11, and the first officer and captain looked me dead in the eye this time. Beaming from ear to ear, I greeted them as I had the first time, “Good morning, gentleman. I believe you have a problem!”
The first officer nodded at me with a bemused smirk, trying his best not to piss himself with laughter. The captain was seething! He looked at me sheepishly before clearing his throat.
“I believe we got off on the wrong foot earlier – for which I apologise.” He muttered reluctantly.
“Yes, you did!” I shot back with a grin. “I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, talking to a colleague in that manner,” I said in a lowered voice, pointing at him with a finger gun. “We both work for the same company. We both get paid by the people sitting behind us, waiting to go. So…what is the problem?”
“The number 1 generator fail light is not working.” The captain mumbled.
Wordlessly, I pressed the indicator light switch. It didn’t work, so that told me it was the bulb. I unscrewed it and removed it from the cap. Right behind the captain is a small compartment full of spare bulbs. I reached over, plucked one from the compartment and screwed it in. As soon as I put that cap back on, the indicator light illuminated, and the shock on the captain’s face was priceless!
This took me less than thirty seconds.
I then called Tech Control, confirming that the aircraft was now serviceable. I nodded at the first officer, and just before leaving, I shared my final thoughts with the captain, “I have done my job and earned my money. I suggest you strap yer arse in that seat and fuck off!” I pointed over my shoulder with my thumb to emphasise my departing message before leaving to the sound of the first officer finally bursting with laughter.
I eventually returned to Tech Control where the station engineer and the LMS called me into the office and asked, “What was that all about?!”
I explained what happened and the reasons for doing what I did. They both applauded me, and I mean literally -they clapped.
The LMS added, ‘This does not go down as a technical delay. This goes down as a captain’s arrogance delay!” And it did.
At midnight every night, all the shift bosses would get together and go through every delay. When it came to the one that I was involved in, the LMS exclaimed, “Who the fuck do these captains think they are, talking to colleagues in that manner?! We will never accept this as a technical delay. This is an arrogant, son-of-a-bitch, captain, delay!”
This was fully noted and accepted by Operations. They passed on their apologies to me through the LMS, which was more sincere than the captain’s apology ever was.
I took a serious gamble that day. This story could have easily ended very differently. But that kind of arrogance should never be tolerated, and the captain sorely needed to learn the simple lesson that respect is earned, not given.
I never saw that captain ever again…
